The Multifaceted Psychology of Desire

The joy of life as an end-in-itself

This essay is more on the idealistic side of my writing and thoughts. The ideas explored here are perhaps a little optimistic as expectation for yourself and others, though nevertheless I am sure they are worth keeping in mind.

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In psychology, philosophy and literature often the central force or drive that moves people is desire. From Nietzsche to Freud to Lacan, the common denominator is that desire is the primary or even the only force that is at the root of all human action. Whether it’s a will for power, a desire for recognition by your parents or a longing to fill the emptiness, where it directs itself is debated, but they all agree that it is the foundation of human psychology.

Of course there is something which needs to move us in order for us to actually do something, but is that always desire? Is it really the foundation of why we do anything or are there other reasons for us to act, rather than just to fulfil a want?

Gustav Klimt, Castle Kammer on the Attersee III, 1909–1910

First, I think it is crucial to categorise different forms of desire; the most familiar is of course the desire to have something: a brand new car, a nice house, love. Though there are other forms too, not every thing we do stems from a desire to have or possess a thing, the most important of which I think is the desire to do something. It sounds incredibly obvious, but there is a little more nuance to it; often when we do something it’s because we want to have something, so the actual reason of wanting to do a certain thing is to possess or get something, the act is merely a means to an end.

Wanting to study so you can have a good grade, wanting to cook so you can have a good meal. However, the longing to do something that I mean is where the act of doing that thing is the reward itself. Playing a tennis match, because you like playing tennis is giving into a longing which immediately fulfils itself. It doesn’t need to get you anything, the joy you get from it is rewarding enough to get you off your couch.

This is in my view a much more pure and also sustainable way of wanting. Where the things you do aren’t really supposed to get you anything and if it does then that’s a nice bonus. The last year I have experienced this with writing, all the support I get for my work is unbelievably great and wonderful, the opportunities I have received due to writing and the people who my work has inspired or helped and yet these aren’t the reasons I write; I write simply because I like it. For some it could be shocking to hear, perhaps they will say something like: “Don’t you write, because of all the opportunities it gives you then or for a future career?”. My answer to that question is simple: no. Not because I don’t appreciate the fact that I can write things other people like to read, but because I believe that writing for any other reason except for intrinsic motivations is disingenuous. It’s deceiving.

There is although one exception I would make here and that’s the act of service: baking a cake for someone you hold dear, going to a museum you actually dislike but you go to anyway because your friend really wants to go. Those are deeds, which have motivations that are as selfless as the ones I mentioned prior and strangely enough although they are very different drives in both situations the same mechanism is at play, which is doing something without expecting any merit, the cake they receive or the museum they get to see is the reward. It’s a motivation without there being a factor of trying to yield personal gain: just like you make the piece of art purely because you like it, you bake the cake purely because someone else likes it.

Gustav Klimt, Avenue to the Kammer Castle, 1912

I feel the same way when reading books or watching movies where the author wants to ‘teach his audience a lesson’. The kind of movies where you see that the thoughts you are supposed to think went prior to the story that embodied them, the kind of painters whose paintings are made to show the audience what is the correct thing to believe.

Because it’s so normalised in our society, you and even I when I came up with this initially can’t see that much wrong with that approach, it is quite harmless right? The harm or the problem that I experience is that the examples I mentioned are all outwardly focused, the writer of the movie writes the film to make you think a certain way about something instead of writing it to express his own ideas, struggles or thoughts. It is artificial. The irresistible need to express oneself for its own sake is a longing in a far different category than wanting the new car or promotion.

Gustav Klimt, Bauerngarten, 1907

Following this instinct of doing what you love, instead of doing something so you can get what you love will make us more happier and genuine in our lives. A clear example is when people are in love: when you really love someone, you don’t go to a movie or on that walk through the park with that special person so you can get something out of it, no going to the movie or the walk through the park was the reward. From that eventually develops a relationship, which is something people want to have, but as soon as you go on the date to have the relationship we all feel the intentions get grey and superficial and the mystic or special aspect it perhaps once had will inevitably fade.

You know it is true and genuine when the calculated decisions and the side ulterior motives all melt, the results they might generate become secondary, irrelevant even. This is not exclusively true for love but for almost all aspects of life. A life spent doing things, without them owing a profit to you is a happy life; a genuine life. Gazing at an artwork, drinking your favourite tea or having a conversation with a dear friend they are all the things that don’t have to pay a debt to you for you spending your precious time and energy on them and strangely enough those are the ones that fulfil you more than any possession ever could.